January 20, 2011

Matthew 4:1-4 “Then Jesus was led by the Spirit into the WILDERNESS to be tempted by the devil. After fasting forty days and forty nights, he was HUNGRY. The tempter came to him and said, “If you are the Son of God, tell these stones to become bread.”  Jesus answered, “It is written: ‘Man shall not LIVE on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.

Have you ever wondered why? Have you experienced your own wilderness journey? Have you watched your children, spouse, loved one, or friend experience a wilderness time? Have you desired just to skirt around these difficult times? Or, maybe said, I wish I could take these hard times away from my children.” I know I have thought these thoughts and yearned for the peaceful trek. But are we missing out if we do that?

In reading these 4 verses for a study, I was moved to know more about these three words. They jumped off the page…I needed to know more. So out came my handy Greek word dictionary and my Blue Letter Bible app quickly covered my iphone’s screen.

What do you think of when you read wilderness? Why did it have to be a wilderness?  He was there for 40 days and 40 nights…was he not hungry earlier? What does it mean to be hungry? God said Man shall not live on bread alone…we need food to live…what does live mean? What does God’s Word have to do with our ability to live? These thoughts and questions plus more flooded my mind. And I danced, after studying these 3 words!

Just like Jesus, we will be led into wilderness experiences. This time will be a solitary, lonely, desolate, uninhabited place that will be deserted by others, where we will be deprived of the aid and protection of others, friends, acquaintances, family. It takes this experience, to bring us to our weakest point. A place where we will experience a hunger like never before. We will suffer want, we will be needy and we will crave ardently and begin to seek with eager desire. Right here is when we’re tested and tempted. At our weakest moment, will we turn to God, seek His face, speak His words to defeat the enemy? What will we resort to for our strength? Bread nourishes our flesh for the moment, but we LIVE on every word that comes from the mouth of God. With His word we are able to breathe, no longer are lifeless nor dead, enjoy real life and a true life, have true power, become full of vigour, and are fresh, strong, efficient, active, powerful, and efficacious.

Now this LIFE that you see when you look up live is what I desire for myself, my children, my husband, my family, my friends, my acquaintances and even my enemies. If we skirt around the wildernesses and we avoid and push away the hard times…we miss the most beautiful time of growing closer to God, leaning on His understanding, learning from His teachings, and just spending time in our Daddy’s lap being comforted. EMBRACE these times that tear away our hard exteriors and kneel before our Father to truly experience what it means to LIVE. And remember,  Jesus didn’t enter the wilderness alone…He was led by the Spirit. We too are not left alone, but led there in order to create something more beautiful than was before.

In case your wondering, what does a wilderness time look like? It is different for everyone. A few of my personal wildernesses are 2 depressions, my body revolting against being in the sun at anytime, and developing food allergies to all foods. Without these I would not be who I am today, nor would my relationship with God have grown so much. Some others could be loss of job, loss of home,death of family members, struggles with children, surviving suicide, troubles in marriage, dealing with an illness personally or with a loved one…the list is endless. Think about what your wilderness experiences have been and praise God for loving us enough to take the time to chisel away the rough edges, to love us in all our awkwardness, to be patient with us as we gradually listen to Him.

Thank you Jesus for never giving up on us, for never throwing in the white towel and saying that’s it. But rather, you sought forgiveness for us from God declaring we do not know what we do. Oh to be even a little glimmer of who you are. Thank You for Your faithfulness, trustworthiness, and Your sovereignty. Even in the midst of our trials, You are in control…nothing comes to us that hasn’t been filtered through Your loving fingertips. In Your Son’s precious name Jesus, Amen.

Word Study:

Wilderness – G2048 erēmos: solitary, lonely, desolate, uninhabited place; when referring to persons – deserted by others, deprived of the aid and protection of others, especially of friends, acquaintances, kindred; abandoned –  a flock deserted by the shepherd, a woman neglected by her husband, from whom the husband withholds himself.

Hungry – G3983 peinaō: to hunger, be hungry, to suffer want, to be needy and metaphorically to crave ardently, to seek with eager desire

Live – G2198 zaō: to live, breathe, be among the living (not lifeless, not dead), to enjoy real life, to have true life and worthy of the name, active, blessed, endless in the kingdom of God, having vital power in itself and exerting the same upon the soul, metaphorically to be in full vigour, to be fresh, strong, efficient,  active, powerful, efficacious

God ignited a burning fire within me like I had never experienced before. He took me on a wild ride that I’ve come to treasure. Like Paul, once the scales were removed Jesus took him into the desert for 3 years to teach Paul His ways…Jesus did that same thing for me. For 4 years, I took four individual bible studies simultaneously, slowing down only during summer to do one. He poured His word into me voraciously almost like a firehose on full blast and was busily replenishing what the locust had eaten over the years. Eventually, leaders noticed my craziness and they encouraged me to stretch myself to lead small groups: one in Stepping Stones and eventually becoming the leader of the Precept Bible Study ministry at Lakeside. I flourished in ways that I’m still trying to put into words because God continues to show me things from the past, that were to prepare me for the future, which is actually now my present. Like I said many times His weaving continues to amaze me. God used this time in my journey to establish His strong foundation and instill in me the strength to walk through the years that were to come. What He poured into me caught me up to speed, transitioned me from milk to solid food, clarified experiences I had walked through, and infused me with the strength to endure the hard travels ahead.

The next portion of my journey is really where the rubber meets the road. It’s where He’s going to give hands and feet to all the knowledge He’s placed within me. The knowledge will morph into wisdom by “doing” what He’s taught not just “knowing” it and collecting dust. At this time, Richard Stearn who wrote A Hole in the Gospel came to our church. I was inspired to take his challenge to pray a simple prayer, “God break my heart for what breaks Yours.” At this time I naively thought I’d be given the task to help in sex trafficking or maybe become active in World Vision. But rarely ever is the image I create in my mind ever the one God has envisioned for me. He began to break my heart in many areas. One place he broke my heart for was in regards to a certain prisoner. I continue to wrestle with God on what He wants me to do and if I heard Him correctly. This man was an elementary teacher in Folsom who was convicted of unthinkable crimes, but God keeps placing him on my heart. I’m still seeking His guidance on what to do because…Why? What am I to say? How? He’s in for life in a federal prison in Illinois? Although he will remain in a physical prison as a consequence to his choices, he could be freed spiritually and then empowered to guide others to Jesus. This adventure is yet to be completed. So I wait.

God continued to do many amazing things, teaching lesson after lesson, showing off with His mighty power, and yet, I reached a time where I acted like Elijah. After God supported me faithfully in so many different areas, I became exhausted and forgot to trust God. I ran away from leading groups after 8 years to hide as I traversed the worst times of my life so far.

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