Author: DSilvan

Ask • Seek • Knock . . . Reward Awaits!

Posted on by DSilvan
Ask. Beg. Crave…
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Ask. A sense of urgency and desperation lies behind the Greek word “aiteo.” This ask is not from a place of indecisiveness, “maybe I want this…no wait, maybe this would be better.”
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No.
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It’s packed full of an adamant, “This IS what I MUST have!” You are at the last knot on your rope and this is your laser beam focused request. Then there will be a reward received; a granting of your request; your desire will be furnished and your gift bestowed on you.
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Seek. Think. Meditate. Reason. Inquire into…This seek, “zetoes,” is not hastily done, not swiftly landed on.
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No.
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There’s time involved to discover what needs to be aimed at, what the precise demand needs to be. Much thought and meditation on the issue at hand has been diligently applied; details have been scouted and inquired on; everything has been reasoned out in order to discover what needs to be found.
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This forms  a picture in my mind of a hidden treasure being searched for by us. All areas are examined with necessary details scrutinized and observed so that the desired treasure can be recognized, discovered, detected and found. Much effort in this process has been paid, and the reward to be gained awaits.
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Knock. Rap. Knuckles. Hard blow…This “krouo” is not a picture of timidly standing at the door and gently tapping in a whispery fashion on the door for an answer.
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No.
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We are to take our knuckles and with hard blows knock repeatedly on the door almost in an attempt to break it down. We are to stand boldly at His door with great confidence believing that He waits behind the door eagerly anticipating answering our prayer. Swinging open the gate to previously blocked opportunities; releasing stored up blessings from heaven; opening our mind to His ways; giving us ears to hear His voice; opening our eyes to see His ways; and, filling our mouth to speak His words.
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Lord help us to live this out. Thank you for letting us know that You answer our prayers faithfully and with consistency. Reassuring us that if we ask for bread You will not give us a stone. If we ask for a fish You will not give us a serpent. Father, You know how to give good gifts far above and beyond what any earthly parent can do. Teach us to ask with decisive clarity; instruct us how to seek endlessly; empower us to knock boldly with deep faith knowing You await to answer. Ask, Seek, Knock . . . reward awaits. In Jesus name, Amen.

Prophesy, Dreams & Visions

Posted on by DSilvan

As I journey further down the road of living out being a disciple like in the days of Acts, I get intrigued watching how my faith grows, how doubts enter and how God enters to encourage me and build me up along.

I’ve grown to really love this Scripture I stumbled across. As I dive deeper into understanding God, I have been able to use it to help me stand strong against others who say God doesn’t speak to us in these ways today. God has shown me how He’s spoken to me all throughout my life to teach me, encourage me, explain things to me, to build my faith, and communicate what He desires me to know. I’m grateful that He has aroused me to see how He has always done this in my life and continues to allow me to notice His activity today in my life.

“. . . I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions.” ~ Joel 2:27

Dream To Teach of Spiritual Warfare
One of the first dreams I remember is a recurring dream when I was younger that was used to teach me about spiritual warfare. I would have terrifying dreams of ghoulish entities that were trying to break into my home while I ran around making sure all the doors were locked and windows were shut tight . . . they could NEVER come in. I hated these dreams. I was tormented by them constantly. No one around me understood them. They also didn’t believe in, or perhaps contemplate, the reality of God speaking to us through dreams. Therefore, I was told these were nightmares because I had watched something scary or had eaten something that bothered me. I have come to view this as the worldly explanation given to me. Many years later God enlightened me and explained what was really happening. God revealed to me that I was shown in my dream the spiritual battle that was trying to come after me, after us. He assured me that I was being shown that my home was secure. There was no access that the enemy could break in by. I was God’s and the evil one could not have me. These experiences left feelings deep within me that still stick with me today. Often when warfare activity is present I can sense it in a similar manner. I just know, that I know, that I know. Because of this experience, I am a prayer warrior for our family, our kids, our grandkids.

Dream To Build Faith Stronger
At different times in this new journey into healing and deliverance I have come up against strong doubts. Doubts that I was given authority by Jesus to do what He asked of the original disciples in Acts. Doubts that I would be able to deliver anyone. Doubts that I would know what to do in the moment that I found my self in. Doubts that the enemy would listen to me.  At the depth in this valley, I had a dream. The dream was of a creature that looked similar, yet vastly different from our yellow lab Nala. She stood before me and behind her was a tall bookcase full of colorful books displayed in vivid color. As the creature stood before me on a stage, I was looking intently into her deep black piercing eyes. I could sense the presence of evil, I felt it all over me and I KNEW a demonic presence was there. I immediately began addressing the entity that I could sense, but not physically see. I began giving commands,  “Come out! Be Silent! Leave now! in the name of Jesus.” The creature went limp and gently curled into a lump on the floor. I awoke and remember thinking, “I could tell it was there. I knew what to say. The demonic presence listened. I need not fear. I will be able to deliver anyone from the hands of the enemy when God brings them to me.”  My faith was built stronger by this dream.

Dream To Encourage, Build, Correct and Teach — Don’t Doubt Denise
Erroneously, I thought that I would wrestle less with doubts the further down this path of healing. I didn’t think about the fact that the deeper I go into this calling the enemy will fight against me and throw all kinds of questions and criticism my way, trying to deter me. During these years, I have been allowed to be a vessel that God heals through. I have experienced God removing pain from a girlfriends arm as I prayed for her and it entered into my arm.  As I prayed for a man to commission him on mission, I felt God’s presence and He healed his knee that had pain for 15 years that I knew nothing about when I laid my hand on his knee and prayed for him. As I prayed for a young woman’s elbow that had been hurting from possible dislocation, I prayed and the pain left, her eyes went wide in amazement. My husband woke up with his back in extreme pain, I laid hands on his back, prayed and the pain decreased from level 8 to 2. Even though I have personally witnessed people get healed through my hands and my prayers, I still wrestle with doubts as I live among those who doubt this happens today. I was in a really dark place recently saying, “God doesn’t really want to use me this way. This isn’t for everyone, especially me. If God desired me to do this I wouldn’t have fear of stepping out in faith, fear of looking weird to others, fear of making those around me uncomfortable as I pray for strangers . . . I would just step out courageously on fire and pray for anyone and everyone I see that is ailing.” I was ready to walk away from the four years God had opened up to me through this adventure. All of a sudden, I had a dream. There was a man’s face that looked to have light green tree moss growing all over it, Lichen. As I came to him, I laid my hands on his face and prayed for healing. His face healed and the texture that resulted was soft, smooth skin. Everyone around us was cheering and excited. Chanting my name. I corrected all of them and said, “Why are you speaking like this? This is not of me. This is of God. The kingdom of God has come near. Praise His name He has healed this mans face.” I woke up feeling my faith had just received a booster shot. My faith was increased and I was encouraged to continue on the path He had awakened me to. The thoughts flooding my mind were now, “Why do you doubt this is for you to do?” This was the beginning of me coming out of this time of doubting. I was exhorted to believe what God was calling me to.

Visions — Not Yet
I have yet to have visions like a movie playing out before my eyes while I’m awake. One day I hope I will be able to write about that and share this type of encounter with God.

Prophesying By Images or Words From Name
In regards to prophesying, the typical way I receive these words from God is through a picture or image that is placed within my thoughts. As I see the image, I begin to ask God questions about what I see and what He wants to say. That is when I receive the words God wants to speak. God has always spoke to me like this, I just never really knew what was happening . . . I had not been given any words to explain what was going on. I had no grid to explain it. By understanding how He speaks to me I have been empowered to hear from Him more easily. I can be like a watchman and look for where God is going to speak. One other way I have come to hear Him speak to me is when I ask Him to give me special words for each letter in a person’s name. As I look at a person’s name in my quiet time, I ask what the Lord would like to say to this person through their name. Then I sit, waiting until I receive pictures or words for each letter and then I ask Him what He would like to share about that image or word. The communication flows from there. I must say I’m usually timid that I have heard accurately. I often share with each person by saying, “This is what I felt impressed upon my heart for you. If it does not resonate with you simply toss it away.” However, usually through a healing prayer appointment God has confirmed in my heart that what I heard in the morning hours is exactly right on and I’m encouraged to share the word I have for the person. Connecting with God like this and being able to share with others what I feel God has impressed upon my heart has been a huge blessing along this adventure.

Words of Knowledge Tunnel

Posted on by DSilvan

I traveled to South Bay Agape Christian Church in San Jose to go to the  Empowered Conference hosted by Revival Valley. The keynote speaker was Joanne Moody of Agape Freedom Fighters. She leads healing teams, teaches, equips and empowers the body of Christ to live out Matthew 10:8 ~

“And as you go, preach, saying, ‘The kingdom of heaven is at hand.’ “Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse the lepers, cast out demons. Freely you received, freely give.’”

Towards the end of the evening we were encouraged to participate in a Words of Knowledge tunnel where the Holy Spirit would give us words specifically for the people in our group. Surprisingly, I was at peace and not anxious about this experience.

In previous times, I have excused myself to go to the bathroom because fear overwhelmed me: I never believed this could happen . . . how can I do this now? Will I hear from God? Will they be my words or His? What if I don’t hear anything? What if the person doesn’t like the word I have? What if I look stupid struggling to get a word?

However, this time I was determined to face my previous fears and overcome them. I was eagerly ready to do this anticipating I’d be able to hear the words I was to deliver. The Lord had been having me practice this with Him for over the last 6 months before my healing prayer appointments as I’d pray for each client. He’d been encouraging me to listen throughout my day to deliver words to His people He drew to my attention. God had been building my trust in Him showing up. He’d been teaching me how I receive these words from Him: pictures, impressions, thoughts of words, feelings in my body and more.

We were asked to form a group of 8 people who were complete strangers. This way we were insured to not know anything about each person in our group. The words would be completely based off of what we received, no preconceived impressions. Then we formed the famous soccer tunnel with 4 of us on one side and 4 on the other side facing the other group. Group A would start and each person in Group A would walk down Group B’s line giving each person a single, special, and unique word that popped into their mind from God when you paused and looked at them. At the end, each person in Group B would have collected 4 words from complete strangers. Then Group B would do the same to Group A. At the end all 8 of us had 4 unique words and maybe even some of the words would be repeated. This was an extremely powerful exercise of trusting God to deliver words through the Holy Spirit and then receiving what was given to us from our Heavenly Father.

The first one to speak to me was a young gentle Asian woman who was precious and treasured. Her word to me was “Wise.” That resonated. I hear this often when people pray with me. The next woman was a warrior and the word she delivered was “Regal.” Immediately I saw a picture of royalty . . . part of God’s royal team. That resonated, too. Next was a gentleman that appeared to be Hawaiian or Samoan. He walked with a cane and looked like a climber-of-large-mountains full of wisdom. He stood before me eyes closed and head down. I felt he had a word for me, but was wrestling with it. With his eyes still closed he stepped in even closer and tilted his head to my right. I really felt he had a word, but was seeking clarity. He opened his eyes, looked into my eyes, then looked down and stepped even closer to me. He was now 6 inches from my face . . . definitely invading my safe bubble space. Lol. He looked up as his shoulders relaxed and surrendered to giving me the word. He looked directly into my eyes again as he quietly spoke in a rugged voice, “Broken.” I admit I was a little knocked off kilter . . . kind of shocked, because I didn’t expect a negative word and that felt negative. Delivering any word in this type of environment takes courage to step out. Quickly trying to process, I told him “thank you.” However, I wasn’t sure I wanted to receive it, yet. The last was an Asian gentleman who seemed like a gentle giant. His word to me was “Prayerful.” This resonated, as well.

As we wrote our words down, I was trying to process through why I received that word I viewed was negative, broken. I knew the gentleman heard that word so I began asking God, “Why that word, what did You want to say to me through it?”

Right at that moment, Joanne Moody said, “Some of you might have received a word that seems negative. Maybe they missed it. Or, maybe that’s an area God is planning on working on in you. Ask the Holy Spirit.”

As I wrote my words down “Wise • Regal • Broken • Prayerful” I kept repeating them over and over in my mind. I felt the Lord say, “Yes, you are broken and I will be healing things in you, BUT your heart has always been for the ‘broken ones.’ You are for the ‘broken-hearted.’ You are My daughter that I have poured Wisdom into, a Regal daughter of mine that is Prayerful for the Broken.”

Now that is pretty powerful!!! I received that!

Afterwards, I told my husband who escaped to the bathroom beforehand, “I wish you would have done it even though it was intimidating. I think God would have delivered some powerful words to him that would have knocked his socks off!” I encouraged him and shared how I remember being there and done the same escape technique, too . . . All in God’s timing.

God is still building and refining this in me. He’s teaching me every day. Right after this day of training and seeing God do amazing things, I still wrestled with stepping out in faith. Ugh!

There was a tattooed girl in Target that I noticed. I thought her tattoo of colorful flowers was beautiful, intricate and exquisite. I felt God nudge me to tell her, “You are radiant, beautiful and extravagant. Many might be turned off by your tattoos but I think they are magnificent!” I wanted to share that I felt God impress upon my heart that He loves how you express yourself.

But . . . Nope, I didn’t do it. No shame, guilt or condemnation. Next time I will. It’s a process :o)

Slain In The Spirit

Posted on by DSilvan

I remember back in the early 90’s speaking to my Baptist Minister and asking him many controversial questions. When I look back, I don’t remember “why” I asked them, I just know I was prompted by what I read in Scripture and sometimes what I saw on television regarding Christianity.

One question was, “How do you explain what happens to those people when Ministers lay hands on them and they fall over?” I was told, “Denise, that is all *psychosomatic* — they believe so much that this will happen to them that they cause that response to happen when they get touched.” I put my question on a shelf because that response didn’t really resonate with me, but I had no one around me to provide a different explanation to my question. I just felt I needed to learn more, obviously I didn’t know as much as they did.

I sat under cessationism for the next 25 years training me that what I read in Acts wasn’t meant for me and that some of the gifts of the Holy Spirit had ceased and were only relevant  2000 years ago.

Fast forward to February 2016. My world was about to change. Glasses were about to radically be torn off and new vision was going to challenge all I’d been trained to see. Everything I had put on the shelf was coming back out for me to revisit each question. This circle of believers I was thrust in the midst of spoke often about being “slain in the Spirit.” I had no grid to understand, I just knew I’d been taught this is a lie, evil and not for solid Christians. I was leery, unsure and very uncomfortable. What I knew was that I DID NOT desire to experience this because I was down right afraid of it.

Fast forward to Saturday, October 27. My husband willingly agreed to go to an “Empower Conference” by Joanne Moody. She was raised as a Baptist under cessationism, but God had radically taken her out of that world when He miraculously healed her from 14.5 years of excruciating pain. Since then, she’s been training, equipping and imparting what God has given her to other believers that God brings before her.

After 3 years of God opening my eyes, switching my lenses and removing my fear…I told Him, “Lord, I’m ready and willing for whatever You have for me this weekend. I want MORE. You know that’s my heart’s desire. I want everything You have. I want nothing to hold me back. I want all lies silenced. I want to experience You more intimately and differently than ever before.” Honestly, I didn’t know what this meant. I just knew I was OPEN to receive what He had for me this day. He was showing me so many different nuances, much I knew through recent teaching, but because it was said differently I was receiving it afresh. I learned things that had never been planted in me before or seen in Scripture previously. I was so happy for the new enlightenment.

Just before dinner break, Jo asked everyone who felt called to teach the next generation all we were learning to come forward to be prayed for. No question! I nearly ran up as Bill sat in the pew looking on. I was looking for who I wanted to pray for me…lines were everywhere. I just hung out in the middle waiting my turn. I thought I was going to the young girl to my left, but all of a sudden Jo stopped talking on the mic and there she was. I was already kind of in a weird place, present…but… feeling not there. I heard Jo say to the lady beside me as she held her hands and began to pray…she went down and Jo said, “It doesn’t matter if you fall down, that doesn’t make you holier or more spiritual.” I was relieved. The catcher behind me pushed me forward and Jo grabbed my hands. In my head, I was so eager to hear what she was going to speak over me. What was she going to prophesy? How was God going to bless me with her words? Then as she held my hands she said, “It’s okay. Go! Go! GO!” and BOOM! Out!

I lay there, this little conservative Baptist girl was weeping prostrate on my back on the ground. Overwhelmed. Trying to figure out in my mind what was happening. Hearing my thoughts racing, “Oh my word, what about Bill. What is he thinking? Is he okay? Should I get up now so he doesn’t freak out?”

The Lord began to speak words rapidly and profoundly, tenderly and encouragingly to me. He impressed feelings on my heart on how to let go instantly to overcome. “Relax . . . I have Bill . . . He’s okay . . . Receive from Me . . . Relax and let go . . .” His words flooded my mind as I let everything else fade away. “My daughter, step out in faith.” He deposited more love in me and said, “I’m giving you more love. Give My love I have given you.” “Speak My words for you hear My voice.” “Heal others and you will be healed, too.” I was confused by these last words. He knew I was confused. In an instant understanding of this last command was in my spirit. A lie existed within me that I needed to be ALL healed and then He could heal others through me. Without words, He impressed upon me, “You do not need to be all healed for ME to heal, Go! I will heal you simultaneously, those will be blessings you receive in return.” I felt His authority and power in this. While I was laying down there was a weightiness/thickness that was on me, yet I felt light at the same time, like hovering…none of this makes sense when you think too hard about it. Eventually I sat up, I wept more and tried to get my bearings. I thought, I think I can make it back to Bill. As I walked I felt tilted at 45 degrees to the left, though I was walking upright. Once I sat in the pew I noticed my legs were all jello-like and trembling inside, like I’d just squatted tons of weight and my muscles were quivering.

Bill’s eyes of concern were all over me. He asked, “Are you okay?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “I have one question for you. Did you go up there expecting that to happen?” I said, “No. I was actually going up there to have them speak words of prophesy over me and a blessing to carry out the calling I feel God has been giving me.” He said, “Has this ever happened to you before.” I said, “No.” To which I’m sure in his mind he was thinking, why on earth did you invite me to come witness this then?! LOL.

We went to dinner. He grabbed it to go because I still felt weak and unsteady to walk.

My mind was racing again while I sat in the car . . .

Quickly in my head, I was thinking, “Man I’m disappointed. I wanted Jo to pray for me and bless me. I wanted her to anoint me for this calling.”

I started laughing out loud! Hahahahahahaha!

Like her words would be more profound then what the Lord had just done to me, in me and for me! I responded to myself, “Really?! That was amazing! Freaking amazing! I receive it ALL!”

Then the stealing of what the Lord just did began — rapid doubts were being spewed at me… either from the enemy or my own broken thinking patterns — “Did you do this yourself? Did you just fall over? You just relaxed and went over? You didn’t feel a powerful force knock you over! That wasn’t the Holy Spirit. There was nothing special about that. Stop making it up!”

I argued back, “Then why did I feel I was tilted at a 45 degree angle inside when I walked back? Why was there a ‘foggy feeling’ or ‘euphoria feeling’ afterwards? Why were my legs trembling? Why were my legs feeling so jello-like for the last hour? Did I make all that up? I HEARD the Lord speaking all that encouragement to me! I saw Him depositing MORE love in me.

I was standing against the enemy who was attempting to steal my encounter with God. I exclaimed, “You can’t take this from me!” I was fighting against the lie, the stronghold that had been placed in my mind when I was 20 and I was having to war against it. After 30 years it did not want to go easily. I was having to tell it to STOP! Refuse to agree with it anymore! And choose to receive what God had given me! Done. I know what I know.

I continually remain in awe at His gentleness. He is never willing to force Himself on you. He knows when it’s the right time. I was ready and He met me. He has been faithful to explain every question through this journey. I left that conference with uncontainable excitement bubbling over in me. So amazed at His ways!

For those like me, who ask where is “slain in the Spirit” in the Bible? Is this even Biblical? I can tell you because of my experience that my perspective has been changed due to this encounter with the Holy Spirit. However, take a quick look at a few references and see what you think: Genesis 17:3, the Lord appeared to Abraham and he fell face down; Or Revelations 1:17 when John fell to the feet of the First and the Last; Finally, Acts 9:3-6 when Paul fell to the ground and heard the voice of the Lord.  This is very similar to what I experienced, the power of God overwhelmed me and I became weak, then He spoke to me things as I lay under His presence.

As Joanne Moody says, it is not up for me to convince you. All I am doing is sharing my experience and encouraging you to seek God to see what He desires to share with you about all of this.

Understanding God’s Heart

Posted on by DSilvan

Many times I’m allowed to go through experiences so that I feel and understand God’s heart. When our older children called only when they needed something, my heart was broken. I didn’t hear from them because they were busy living life. I yearned for our lost closeness, our connection, our friendship. God showed me that’s how He feels when I only call on Him when I’m in trouble. He yearns to hear from me always, even when things are going good because He loves me immensely.

Other times He allows me to go through things to reveal how my actions hurt. He let me walk through a time where people didn’t hold their thoughts captive, didn’t choose to believe the best in me and held me to perfect standards. My heart was broken. The Lord met me then saying, “just like those friends “chose” to believe the lies the enemy planted in their thoughts, so too are you in regards with your husband. This is how his heart feels when you keep choosing to listen to the enemies taunts, read in to what isn’t spoken, assume the worst scenario and demand perfection. Beloved, hold your thoughts captive, cast away the lies, believe and ponder on only the good. Remember to live out Philippians 4:8 ~

“. . . whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

Then there are times He leads me to Scripture to give me clarity and explain why it hurts. He encouraged me to read Hosea. God taught me that the pain I was enduring was because an idol, a passion, was being placed above me. I felt unloved, neglected and forgotten. He spoke gently saying that this is exactly how He feels when we choose our lusts and passions over Him. Running to these things for provision, comfort, fulfillment, security, love, and not putting Him first in everything breaks His heart. He showed me some idols He saw in my life like sugar, my husband, people’s approval. In His jealousy, and for my protection, He would not let me have these because He is purifying me. He called me to endure this so I’d understand the pain in His heart when we chase idols rather then placing Him first and foremost.

Recently He said, “when the unexpected storm hits do not get shaken for this is to be anticipated as My child. My Son went through trials and persecution, so will you. Rejoice that you are marked as Mine. Remember, I am with you and this circumstance will not overcome you because I am with you. This trial is testing your faith and building endurance for the race. I’m refining your trust in Me. In the good times trusting Me is simple, but in the tumultuous, unfair and unjust situations, when the fire seems scorching hot, trusting Me is not an easy task. However, as you continue practicing keeping your eyes focused intently on Me, you will be able to traverse the deeper waters I am taking you to. I will develop all this in you over time. Remember the story of My disciples I took in the boat with Me? I was sleeping quietly appearing to be unaware. All of a sudden that furious storm hit and they were terrified. They didn’t need to be confused, bewildered, or fearful…they need not cry out for Me for I was there with them . . . but their faith was little. I am with you, too. To get bigger faith Denise, you must work out those faith muscles by facing obstacles, calling on me and watching me quiet the storms. This will be painful, tiring and challenging. I will refine you and take you to higher levels of faith as I complete my work in you. There’s nothing to hard for Me.”

Look for Him in every situation because He is constantly teaching and counseling us to know His heart.

Refining My Trust In Him

Posted on by DSilvan

Thirteen years ago in a study, God spoke to my heart as He illuminated words in Scripture . . .

“Before I formed you in the womb, Denise, I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I have appointed you a prophet to the nations.” ~ Jeremiah 1:5.

His rhema pierced my heart as it jumped off the page. Yet, I was unsure of what He meant.

In December 2016, a man prophesied over me saying, “you have a spirit of Elijah on you.” Honestly, I didn’t give it much thought . . . in fact, in my skepticism I questioned his validity for he is merely man. Hearing these prophetic words left me confused. Three months later, I was waiting to catch a plane to Seattle in a chaotic and loud coffee shop when God in His faithfulness and willingness to provide understanding gently whispered to me, “look up ‘spirit of Elijah.’ ” The first article that google popped up had just been written, “Elijah – Boldest of the Prophets.”  The words poured into me like water does to parched soil. I felt God sitting right beside me telling me what He wanted me to understand. As Bill bought Starbucks, I secretly wept.

This was very intimate and personal to me, I’ve always seen similarities between Elijah and myself. Fearlessly following God into crazy circumstances like chasing a pimp down an alley as he hurt his prostitute, yelling at him to “Stop!” while my husband thought I was going to get shot. Then forgetting God’s mighty works and foolishly fleeing in a time of weariness due to fear.

Despite my stumbling, God is always patient with me. These last couple of months, He brought back to mind these past encounters to say again, “you are a bold prophet of mine, you will stand up in the face of difficult situations, speak truth when I ask you to speak truth in the way I reveal for you to share them.”

Being a prophet for Him is not always an easy task. I haven’t particularly liked it. People do not always welcome receiving a redirecting word. Being a people pleaser and desiring people to like me has caused me to wrestle with being obedient to Him when asked to speak. He is teaching me how to share corrective words in a gentle and compassionate manner.

By speaking an instruction through a messenger God said, “Denise, let your testimony be your counselor.” He is sweetly showing me to switch my perspective and my attitude by saying to me, “Do not look at it as a negative responsibility, but rather see it as an opportunity to illustrate to them how you understand their point, how you’ve been in their shoes and how you’ve felt similar things, yet you were shown a different way to respond that honors Me. Denise, let your testimony of how I showed you to do it, be a counselor to them.” He’s been counseling, teaching and training me with words like, “I’m helping you find your voice. I’m refining your trust in Me as I take you deeper. Keep your gaze focused on Me constantly, so you do not sink in these deeper waters. Remember what matters is My thoughts towards you and My thoughts towards you out number the grains of sand for I love you with an everlasting love.”

He has also revealed recently to me that being His prophet doesn’t have to be a negative. I don’t always have to deliver a word that someone will feel as harsh or awkward. Graham Cooke is a prophet I enjoy learning from. I’ve been reading his book, “Approaching the Heart of Prophecy A Journey into Encouragement, Blessing and Prophetic Gifting.”

He illustrated beautifully how since Jesus came, we are in a season of grace. God can show me a difficult truth, a painful situation that if spoken directly would inflict more of a wound. Instead, in that moment, ask God what He wants me to say about that situation? How can I speak life in to that circumstance and call forth the beauty God desires to see in that person.  Isn’t that brilliant? Guaranteed a person knows where they are stumbling, they don’t need someone telling how they are falling, but rather believing in them and calling forth what needs to be seen instead to bring glory to God.

This is the prophet I desire to be. May God continue to train me to be a bold prophet for Him speaking truth in love, full of His grace, calling people in to the place God desires them to stand.

Nature Walk With God

Posted on by DSilvan

At Lakeside Church’s Women’s Retreat at Zephhyr Point Presbyterian Conference Center I took and adventure on a “Nature Walk With God” at Spooner Lake in Glenbrook NV. I’ve included the instructions here. This is my journal entry I felt God impress upon my heart as I asked Him questions about my snapshots. This was transformational and inspirational. I encourage you to challenge your self to hear God speak to you through the nature He surrounds you in. Listen for His whispers everywhere you go. May you be blessed.

Nature Walk With God
Spooner Lake ~ Glenbrook NV

Stay on My path. For it is smooth clear and easily traveled — but it’s narrow. If you get off there will be many distractions, cumbersome to walk through and you will have to dodge many things. So please child look for My path I’ve provided and don’t choose to go your own way.

There will be times on My path that are steep, exhausting and contain corners you will not be able to see around. Keep going. Be strong. Endure. Trust Me.

Along the way I will have things that fence you in and make you feel bound, trapped and not free, but this is for your protection. Though that barrier makes you “feel” secluded, hindered, limited, isolated, like a wall that restrains you from experiencing all you want and desire, those feelings are lies. The presence of that barrier is keeping you from a dangerous area that you are unaware of. BUT I see it and I am protecting you. Do not follow the temptation to go around or climb over for there’s a steep treacherous hill you will roll down. Stay on the clear path I’ve provided. Even on the other side though you can jump off to explore, there will be stickers, rocks, weeds and uncomfortable things to endure and stumble on or stub your feet on. Stay the course, focused on My path. Trust Me.

    

Daughter even while you’re on My path you must keep your eyes attentive, you must be of sober mind. There will be logs(issues) that enter in, struggles with yourself, your husband and marriage, your children and your ministry areas. These all arise because of the influence from the world, your flesh and the enemy. Stay focused on My path placed directly in front of you. If you get distracted and look to the right, to the left, behind, or way ahead for too long you will encounter the upcoming problem without noticing it and most definitely trip and fall. Pay attention. Stay focused on directly in front of you, so you may step over each issue and continue on.

Oh my child…there will be times when you feel like everything has been cut off — just annihilated. You thought things were going good and the direction you were heading was right.

However in My wisdom and omniscience I know what needs to be cut away. I know what needs to be cleared to make the path safer and healthier. You will need to trust Me. My ways are not your ways. My thoughts are not your thoughts. The absence of what was will be painful, but cling to knowing that I know what’s best.

There are going to be times that you walk on your path that you feel like everything around you is barren, dead, ugly, no beauty to be seen. But don’t be fooled ~ this is a lie. Be wise and understand things are not as they seem. Your marriage is not dead, your children’s faith is not dead, your small group is not destroyed and dead. You are walking through a season where the leaves in those situations are supposed to fall off. This is how I’ve designed it. Understand this truth! Look forward to the season ahead of new growth where the leaves will fill your land abundantly.

Hold on to HOPE!

Listen, there’s still beauty in this season. You must look for it. Look at how my light dances among the trees, look at the shapes of each intimate area for the intricacies are revealed during the time of stripping down. These things you would never notice if a laying bare had never occurred. Yet, be careful and watchful for even among healthy trees disease can enter and kill and choke you out. Be wise and know the difference. Seek Me for guidance. Don’t let parasites from outside come in and attack you. Be vigilant. Be wise to the world and the dark army against you and yours. Make sure to come to Me for refreshment and cleansing by the washing of water by my word — use My word as food to feed properly so you can remain healthy and not rot away and die.

Each barren season is different. Some times you will feel like you’re surrounded in all areas of your life like above. Everything appears dead and void all at once. You’ll exit that season into a green section full of luscious evergreen growth, only to enter another season of barrenness. This next dry season might only be on one side, in one area, but don’t get confused. This will only be for a time. Hold on. Let the process work. Let the leaves fall as designed and eagerly anticipate the new growth and beauty that is yet to come. During these times you will feel that these moments in time are never ending. Persevere. Only in hindsight will you be able to understand.

Along your path you’re going to realize you’ve been collecting and stacking up grievances, problems you’ve superficially dealt with but still hold on to, only you haven’t handled yet, but stacked it in the pile to deal with later. This is very dangerous! Each one of these issues whether big or small, long or short, thick or skinny from yourself, husband, marriage, children, parents, friends, ministries is a piece of kindling. Though stacking up “feels” like cleaning up the debris in your life, it’s merely providing a fertile place where dead dried debris gathers waiting for a spark to come in and ignite a huge forest fire! Deal with each of these issues individually; don’t stack them and save them for later. Pick it up, address it and discard it quickly never to be addressed again.

Remember, in hard times, you are walking through a season where it doesn’t look so beautiful or bountiful. It looks bare, void of color, you feel isolated, cold, abandoned, forgotten, so small in the midst of it all. But stay on My path; it’s only a season. Remember that when you finish walking through this time of emptiness, you will see My beauty. Colors will begin to show up again and different life will be present. Keep moving. You will end up in a new place with a new song to sing. Keep moving ahead.

Those times in the stripped areas, where you felt you couldn’t see, feel, or sense My presence. Places where you felt I’ve left you and do not see your pain…Listen, for that little whisper of wind through the rustling of the leaves I sent that to remind you . . . I’M HERE. I hear you. I see you. I’m with you. Don’t let the external view deceive you in your circumstance. I’m with you always and forever. I walk with you through these painful and empty times.

Look back on your journey around Spooner Lake. This terrain displays how your life’s adventure truly appears. The evergreen trees cover the landscape of your life. They are painted abundantly upon the hills…the truth is there is much happiness, good and growth to see! Those grayed out patches that you can barely see are the barren places that seemed so void of life. They aren’t as big as you thought. They are reminiscent of what you are going through right now…your fiery trials. But, LOOK. They are tiny in comparison…merely a fraction of your lifetime. Don’t get confused while traveling through them — life is not horrible; these times are not “never ending”; they do not engulf your life. These lies that run through your mind are meant to steal your hope. Control your mind — hold your thoughts captive. Remember this picture. The reality is there are tiny seasons in your life that will be absent of color and the expectations you anticipated might disappear, perhaps they never appear, or things you thought were to be a certain way just didn’t work out the way you thought because other people and their wills are involved. As you continue moving forward, these times always lead you into another area, a season full of luscious greenery to discover, explore and enjoy. Focus on the abundant goodness. Don’t magnify and constantly focus on the gray patches of struggles and mistakenly think your entire life is grey. That’s a lie. Remember that in different seasons those deciduous/broken areas will sprinkle color and different texture in your lifetime. They serve a purpose that you can see when you stand back soberly evaluating the situation. In the midst of that season it will seem immense and unending, engulfing you all around, but in reality they are only a tiny dash amidst a beautiful journey.

Understand that you will be placed in the midst of things that will continually be good those are your evergreen trees, but there will also be times sprinkled within that provide various texture to your life, provide different colors during seasons, and go through times of barrenness to usher in a time of new growth. Trust Me. I have good intended for you.

When you are looking all around for the correct way to go when there are multiple routes to follow. Look for My signs. I place them along the way to guide your steps. Look also for people that are heading the same way, those who have gone before you can help you maneuver and find your way. There will be steep hills to walk even towards the end. They will make your body sore, your lungs burn, your legs quiver, but endure. At the end there will be a place to rest to catch your breath — a time to reflect on all that you have walked through and see where I have been by your side the entire time.

Pillars of Faith

Posted on by DSilvan

A year and a half ago God called me out of 5 years of rest by saying again, “Feed My sheep.” I obeyed. I don’t see these ladies as “my” group or “our” group, but rather “His” group that He’s chosen to put me in the midst of for a time. My goal remains to seek what He desires for them and to be intentional, diligent and faithful in discipling them in their faith as He guides me.

The previous year God gave me a vision of huge white ivory pillars standing before me. He impressed upon my heart that He was saying these women will be pillars of faith for Me. They will be My Warriors doing battle with Me. They will be strong, brave, courageous, supportive, unwavering, grounded, steadfast, established, solid, sturdy, unmovable and faithful . . . His spiritual warriors against darkness.

Last year I asked Him, “Father what do You want for Your women? How do You desire to mold them?” He revealed five areas: 1) Prayer, 2) Armor, 3) Spiritual Warfare, 4) Identity, and 5) SHAPE. Prayer is our battleground. He’s placed His armor on us to wear and Jesus fulfills each piece. As with Joshua He said do not be afraid for He reigns, is sovereign and all powerful, and Satan is not His equal but merely a created vessel that answers to Him. He tattooed our identity in Jesus Christ on our hearts and opened our eyes to how intricately and uniquely He created each one of us. His desire is for us to illuminate Jesus to others as we operate in the way He designed us to function.

During summer, my Father impressed upon me that He was not finished, so I asked Him, “What do you want next for them? Where do You desire to strengthen them?” He showed me four more areas: 1) Hearing His Voice, 2) Holy Spirit, 3) Forgiveness, and 4) Mentoring. He wants us to learn to recognize His voice and be intimately involved with Him for His sheep hear His voice and follow. We must be still and listen. His Spirit speaks to our spirit and reveals secrets to us as He lives within us. He has given us His Holy Spirit with power to help us and we must embrace and believe all that He supplies. He desires us to discover how important forgiveness is and how to release unforgiveness and bitterness so we can be set free to experience healing and peace. Keeping what He’s given us just for ourselves is not His end goal…He desires us to mentor others in our circles, to train our oikos with the treasures He poured into us and then step out in faith to share with those in our midst about His Kingdom.

My heart continues to hear God say, “I desire you to pursue the lost, the captive, the emotionally hurt, the sick, the physically wounded, and the spiritually imprisoned and bring them to Me for healing and deliverance. Trust Me for big things Denise and teach my daughters to do the same.” My desire is for them to see me hear God’s voice and respond, to watch me pray and war immediately for those in need, to see me believe God’s word and act, to see me believe mighty things and expect mountains to move, to watch me live as a disciple in the days of Acts, to hear me encourage the timid who step out to share, to watch me lift them up and build them up as they step out in faith to do what they never thought they could, to see me pointing them to Jesus for answers and praying with them…I desire to inspire them to do the same with others. I want them to soar into Pillars of Faith…becoming God’s Warriors for such a time as this.

We must be diligent and intentional about connecting and giving people a place to belong. God desires everyone to feel loved, cared for, valued, cherished and important. Being intimate with a few is important. Providing a place to be authentic, raw and real is invaluable. Encouraging one another, praying for each other and sharing a word the Lord gives for each one. Though I try to follow this model Jesus impressed upon my heart, each person needs to be free to find how God works through how he/she is wired. The most important key God encourages in me is to be authentic and unmasked with my life and struggles so that they may see I’m real and that our circle is a safe place to be real.

As for the people He has placed by my side, I want them loosed and released from all that has hindered them and bound to a trust in God that is unstoppable. I want them to embrace God for mighty works. I desire them to see God’s faithfulness and experience exponential transformation . . . to see His fingerprints all over their life. I want me to become less and them to become more.

God growing an army of Pillars of Faith ready to be His Warriors.

 

Rejoicing For I Am His

Posted on by DSilvan

Early on in reading Jeremiah, God grabbed my heart as He illuminated His Word and spoke directly to me…

“Before I formed you in the womb (Denise) I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I have appointed you a prophet to the nations.” ~ Jeremiah 1:5

I didn’t really know what God meant at this time.

And I still am discovering what this encompasses. What I thought this meant was as I learned God’s Word and stored it in my heart, I would be used to speak His Word to others giving them life, encouragement, direction and gentle correction. Yes, this is part of being His prophet. But I have recently found there is so much more. I’ve been learning how I hear from God, how He speaks to me through His Scriptures and my circumstances, and I am learning how to share what He impresses upon my heart for others in order to share His love and grace He has for each person He places before me.

Rewind to 10+ years ago, a burning passion to understand spiritual warfare was birthed as God connected childhood demon-filled nightmares to an encounter with evil at a Women’s Retreat. I began researching and gathering info on spiritual warfare, not yet knowing why.

One-and-half years has passed since God impressed upon my heart to attend that yearlong Healing Prayer class. For many years I’d studied under a cessationist and was taught that some gifts ceased after Jesus’ days and that words spoken to the 12 and 72 were not meant for me. Because of this, I went to this Healing Prayer class with trepidation and suspicion. However, I intentionally tried to remain open to what God desired to show me. Being like a Berean, I searched Scriptures to make sure what I was being taught aligned with His Word. He awakened me to what He had called me to as His current day disciple, yet sadly I had missed —

In John 14:12-14 Jesus says, “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do, he will do also; and greater works than these he will do; because I go to the Father. Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it.”

I asked God, “What are these ‘works’ Jesus speaks of? And God told me to read through John recording what Jesus was doing. God removed all that faulty teaching and transformed my understanding. He showed me personally the authority He had given me and what He was calling me to.

He continues to reveal why He spoke to me in Jeremiah; why He allowed me to experience darkness through depressions and anxiety; why he allowed me to see visions and dreams of the spiritual world; and, why he led me to a class on Healing Prayer.

In Luke 4:18 Jesus reads Isaiah 61:1-2, “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me, because the Lord has anointed Me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent Me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to captives and freedom to prisoners; to proclaim the favorable year of the Lord.”

Because I no longer live but Christ lives in me, I am called to do the same. I am to exercise the authority I have been given through Jesus. I am to embrace this incomparable great power He has placed within me. I am His ambassador sent to represent Him and His Kingdom. Because He lives in me, I will cast out the enemy; I will lay hands on those He places in my path and they will receive healing from physical ailments and sickness in the Name of Jesus. The kingdom of God will come near to them, (Jesus living in me) and the Father will be glorified in the Son. (Luke 10:1-24, Matthew 10:1, Mark 16:15-18) And, I am to speak His Word to help others see how to walk in the authority He has given us as His children.

These last 9 months have been a wild, challenging, joyful, faith-building adventure. I’ve experienced God in ways never before. He showed me He would draw people to me and He has. He’s allowed me to feel His intense power as I prayed for a young man’s deliverance in my small group. He’s allowed me to smell the presence of the Holy Spirit as fragrant roses to remind me His Spirit was present as I prepared to pray for a man’s healing. He’s given me divine encounters with strangers who delivered timely messages sharing God heals immediately, as well as over time — do not be dismayed. He’s allowed me to feel a person’s pain leave her arm through mine. He’s given me timely words to share with client’s during healing prayer prophesying life and hope to their situation. He’s compelled me to do things that this introvert, don’t like to pray out loud girl has done because He bubbled up so fiercely inside me I had to respond. But isn’t that just like God, using the weak to do His work. For when it happens all the glory goes to Him. He doesn’t need me to do any of this work, but He loves to allow me to participate with Him.

Looking back through all He has done in these previous years overwhelms my soul and encourages me to follow Him deeper. Just as the early disciples came back excited exclaiming all they had done in the name of Jesus. Proclaiming that even demons had to answer to them. But Jesus reminded them that the only thing they need to rejoice over was that their name was written in the Book of Life.

Therefore, I’m left rejoicing for I am His.

Hearing God’s Voice

Posted on by DSilvan

As I continue to walk on this path of healing prayer, hearing His voice and being immediately obedient has become my heart’s #1 desire. Recently, a mentor mentioned she’s starting a study on “How to Hear God’s Voice” by Mark Virkler . . . my heart flip-flopped in my chest. I purchased this study last year but never started. I pulled out the companion book “4 Keys to Hearing God’s Voice”  and began reading. A few days later, another friend sent me the link for Graham Cooke’s “Stillness and the Voice of God.” I love when God envelopes me with repeated echoes grabbing my attention and announcing that He’s speaking.

Trying to discern His voice daily can be challenging. Sometimes I feel like Samuel when he had trouble discerning God’s voice as God called to him in the stillness of the night. Yet in reflecting, God reminded me that I have heard Him in a myriad of ways: while I’m in nature at the mountains or at the beach, as I read my Bible, through conversation with other people I encounter, as I watch movies, through pictures He places in my mind and as He travels me through Scriptures when I question Him. Typically, when He speaks to me what takes Him a second to download requires pages for me to explain.

One of the first impactful times I heard God crystal clear was during my 2nd depression.

I walked into the Pet Store by Office Depot feeling fine but pressures and upon exiting my world was instantly turned upside down and fractured . . . everything felt tilted and sideways, anxiety engulfed and balance all askew. The stress of trying to figure out how to provide a sustainable habitat for my children’s frog they just found, pushed me over the edge. This seems like such a small thing, but it was the straw that crushed the camel. My world had become trying to be perfect mom, perfect wife, perfect daughter, perfect  whatever anybody needed never saying no and never having boundaries. I had turned to being dependent on myself and left God somewhere behind all my cares and concerns. And there you go, I found myself broken yet again.

Trapped in darkness for months, doctors gave me medicine that only provided sedation and side effects. Counseling only plastered unwanted labels on me like atypical psychosis, dissociative disorder and anxiety. True healing evaded me. Fear overwhelmed me and heavy terror engulfed me. I’d crochet adult afghans in a day trying to distract myself. I’d read 800+ page books in a day trying to silence the tormenting feelings that incessantly pursued me. My world seemed like a surreal dream. Was I real? Was my family real? I lived terrified I would wake up and forget everyone I loved. So strategically I’d place their pictures everywhere practicing their names as I passed by. I even had visions of how I should end my life. Everyone would be better off without this crazy person adding chaos and being a burden.

I was so tired of living this way. The tears wouldn’t stop, as I lay curled in the fetal position on my bed crying out to God. Why was I broken beyond repair? Why me? In the little strength I had, seasoned with a tinge of anger from feeling forgotten, I cried, “Why won’t You help me?!”

God ever so gently replied, “Why don’t you read something that will truly help you?”

I KNEW it was GOD! There was no mistaking His voice…this gentle quiet whisper within my head carried profound sovereign authority. I knew instantly He was instructing me to pull out my Bible and begin reading. “Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction.” Psalm 107:19-20

What medicine and therapy could not do, God did in a matter of a few weeks as I began my journey back to being in His word…the depression disappeared.

God’s healing can be instantaneously miraculous. Or, it can appear over time. God gave me this imagery through a stranger a couple weeks ago. Imagine a pitch-black dark morning with heavy suffocating fog drifting through the land. As time progresses, the dark is eroded away by the brilliant sunlight and the fog is burnt off by the light’s warmth. Healing occurs as you patiently wait. “My son (daughter), pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to My words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to one’s whole body.” Proverbs 4:20-22

I learned a very valuable lesson this second depression. NEVER LEAVE GOD’S WORD! Each time depression entered my world, I noticed I had become dependent on myself, neglected being in God’s word, thereby allowing depression to wrap it’s arms around me and engulf my soul. As I stay in His Word and remain dependent on Him, I remain healthy and depression free. Praise God and His mighty ways!