Many times I’m allowed to go through experiences so that I feel and understand God’s heart. When our older children called only when they needed something, my heart was broken. I didn’t hear from them because they were busy living life. I yearned for our lost closeness, our connection, our friendship. God showed me that’s how He feels when I only call on Him when I’m in trouble. He yearns to hear from me always, even when things are going good because He loves me immensely.
Other times He allows me to go through things to reveal how my actions hurt. He let me walk through a time where people didn’t hold their thoughts captive, didn’t choose to believe the best in me and held me to perfect standards. My heart was broken. The Lord met me then saying, “just like those friends “chose” to believe the lies the enemy planted in their thoughts, so too are you in regards with your husband. This is how his heart feels when you keep choosing to listen to the enemies taunts, read in to what isn’t spoken, assume the worst scenario and demand perfection. Beloved, hold your thoughts captive, cast away the lies, believe and ponder on only the good. Remember to live out Philippians 4:8 ~
“. . . whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
Then there are times He leads me to Scripture to give me clarity and explain why it hurts. He encouraged me to read Hosea. God taught me that the pain I was enduring was because an idol, a passion, was being placed above me. I felt unloved, neglected and forgotten. He spoke gently saying that this is exactly how He feels when we choose our lusts and passions over Him. Running to these things for provision, comfort, fulfillment, security, love, and not putting Him first in everything breaks His heart. He showed me some idols He saw in my life like sugar, my husband, people’s approval. In His jealousy, and for my protection, He would not let me have these because He is purifying me. He called me to endure this so I’d understand the pain in His heart when we chase idols rather then placing Him first and foremost.
Recently He said, “when the unexpected storm hits do not get shaken for this is to be anticipated as My child. My Son went through trials and persecution, so will you. Rejoice that you are marked as Mine. Remember, I am with you and this circumstance will not overcome you because I am with you. This trial is testing your faith and building endurance for the race. I’m refining your trust in Me. In the good times trusting Me is simple, but in the tumultuous, unfair and unjust situations, when the fire seems scorching hot, trusting Me is not an easy task. However, as you continue practicing keeping your eyes focused intently on Me, you will be able to traverse the deeper waters I am taking you to. I will develop all this in you over time. Remember the story of My disciples I took in the boat with Me? I was sleeping quietly appearing to be unaware. All of a sudden that furious storm hit and they were terrified. They didn’t need to be confused, bewildered, or fearful…they need not cry out for Me for I was there with them . . . but their faith was little. I am with you, too. To get bigger faith Denise, you must work out those faith muscles by facing obstacles, calling on me and watching me quiet the storms. This will be painful, tiring and challenging. I will refine you and take you to higher levels of faith as I complete my work in you. There’s nothing to hard for Me.”
Look for Him in every situation because He is constantly teaching and counseling us to know His heart.