Tag: Healing

Prophesy, Dreams & Visions

Posted on by DSilvan

As I journey further down the road of living out being a disciple like in the days of Acts, I get intrigued watching how my faith grows, how doubts enter and how God enters to encourage me and build me up along.

I’ve grown to really love this Scripture I stumbled across. As I dive deeper into understanding God, I have been able to use it to help me stand strong against others who say God doesn’t speak to us in these ways today. God has shown me how He’s spoken to me all throughout my life to teach me, encourage me, explain things to me, to build my faith, and communicate what He desires me to know. I’m grateful that He has aroused me to see how He has always done this in my life and continues to allow me to notice His activity today in my life.

“. . . I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions.” ~ Joel 2:27

Dream To Teach of Spiritual Warfare
One of the first dreams I remember is a recurring dream when I was younger that was used to teach me about spiritual warfare. I would have terrifying dreams of ghoulish entities that were trying to break into my home while I ran around making sure all the doors were locked and windows were shut tight . . . they could NEVER come in. I hated these dreams. I was tormented by them constantly. No one around me understood them. They also didn’t believe in, or perhaps contemplate, the reality of God speaking to us through dreams. Therefore, I was told these were nightmares because I had watched something scary or had eaten something that bothered me. I have come to view this as the worldly explanation given to me. Many years later God enlightened me and explained what was really happening. God revealed to me that I was shown in my dream the spiritual battle that was trying to come after me, after us. He assured me that I was being shown that my home was secure. There was no access that the enemy could break in by. I was God’s and the evil one could not have me. These experiences left feelings deep within me that still stick with me today. Often when warfare activity is present I can sense it in a similar manner. I just know, that I know, that I know. Because of this experience, I am a prayer warrior for our family, our kids, our grandkids.

Dream To Build Faith Stronger
At different times in this new journey into healing and deliverance I have come up against strong doubts. Doubts that I was given authority by Jesus to do what He asked of the original disciples in Acts. Doubts that I would be able to deliver anyone. Doubts that I would know what to do in the moment that I found my self in. Doubts that the enemy would listen to me.  At the depth in this valley, I had a dream. The dream was of a creature that looked similar, yet vastly different from our yellow lab Nala. She stood before me and behind her was a tall bookcase full of colorful books displayed in vivid color. As the creature stood before me on a stage, I was looking intently into her deep black piercing eyes. I could sense the presence of evil, I felt it all over me and I KNEW a demonic presence was there. I immediately began addressing the entity that I could sense, but not physically see. I began giving commands,  “Come out! Be Silent! Leave now! in the name of Jesus.” The creature went limp and gently curled into a lump on the floor. I awoke and remember thinking, “I could tell it was there. I knew what to say. The demonic presence listened. I need not fear. I will be able to deliver anyone from the hands of the enemy when God brings them to me.”  My faith was built stronger by this dream.

Dream To Encourage, Build, Correct and Teach — Don’t Doubt Denise
Erroneously, I thought that I would wrestle less with doubts the further down this path of healing. I didn’t think about the fact that the deeper I go into this calling the enemy will fight against me and throw all kinds of questions and criticism my way, trying to deter me. During these years, I have been allowed to be a vessel that God heals through. I have experienced God removing pain from a girlfriends arm as I prayed for her and it entered into my arm.  As I prayed for a man to commission him on mission, I felt God’s presence and He healed his knee that had pain for 15 years that I knew nothing about when I laid my hand on his knee and prayed for him. As I prayed for a young woman’s elbow that had been hurting from possible dislocation, I prayed and the pain left, her eyes went wide in amazement. My husband woke up with his back in extreme pain, I laid hands on his back, prayed and the pain decreased from level 8 to 2. Even though I have personally witnessed people get healed through my hands and my prayers, I still wrestle with doubts as I live among those who doubt this happens today. I was in a really dark place recently saying, “God doesn’t really want to use me this way. This isn’t for everyone, especially me. If God desired me to do this I wouldn’t have fear of stepping out in faith, fear of looking weird to others, fear of making those around me uncomfortable as I pray for strangers . . . I would just step out courageously on fire and pray for anyone and everyone I see that is ailing.” I was ready to walk away from the four years God had opened up to me through this adventure. All of a sudden, I had a dream. There was a man’s face that looked to have light green tree moss growing all over it, Lichen. As I came to him, I laid my hands on his face and prayed for healing. His face healed and the texture that resulted was soft, smooth skin. Everyone around us was cheering and excited. Chanting my name. I corrected all of them and said, “Why are you speaking like this? This is not of me. This is of God. The kingdom of God has come near. Praise His name He has healed this mans face.” I woke up feeling my faith had just received a booster shot. My faith was increased and I was encouraged to continue on the path He had awakened me to. The thoughts flooding my mind were now, “Why do you doubt this is for you to do?” This was the beginning of me coming out of this time of doubting. I was exhorted to believe what God was calling me to.

Visions — Not Yet
I have yet to have visions like a movie playing out before my eyes while I’m awake. One day I hope I will be able to write about that and share this type of encounter with God.

Prophesying By Images or Words From Name
In regards to prophesying, the typical way I receive these words from God is through a picture or image that is placed within my thoughts. As I see the image, I begin to ask God questions about what I see and what He wants to say. That is when I receive the words God wants to speak. God has always spoke to me like this, I just never really knew what was happening . . . I had not been given any words to explain what was going on. I had no grid to explain it. By understanding how He speaks to me I have been empowered to hear from Him more easily. I can be like a watchman and look for where God is going to speak. One other way I have come to hear Him speak to me is when I ask Him to give me special words for each letter in a person’s name. As I look at a person’s name in my quiet time, I ask what the Lord would like to say to this person through their name. Then I sit, waiting until I receive pictures or words for each letter and then I ask Him what He would like to share about that image or word. The communication flows from there. I must say I’m usually timid that I have heard accurately. I often share with each person by saying, “This is what I felt impressed upon my heart for you. If it does not resonate with you simply toss it away.” However, usually through a healing prayer appointment God has confirmed in my heart that what I heard in the morning hours is exactly right on and I’m encouraged to share the word I have for the person. Connecting with God like this and being able to share with others what I feel God has impressed upon my heart has been a huge blessing along this adventure.

Rejoicing For I Am His

Posted on by DSilvan

Early on in reading Jeremiah, God grabbed my heart as He illuminated His Word and spoke directly to me…

“Before I formed you in the womb (Denise) I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I have appointed you a prophet to the nations.” ~ Jeremiah 1:5

I didn’t really know what God meant at this time.

And I still am discovering what this encompasses. What I thought this meant was as I learned God’s Word and stored it in my heart, I would be used to speak His Word to others giving them life, encouragement, direction and gentle correction. Yes, this is part of being His prophet. But I have recently found there is so much more. I’ve been learning how I hear from God, how He speaks to me through His Scriptures and my circumstances, and I am learning how to share what He impresses upon my heart for others in order to share His love and grace He has for each person He places before me.

Rewind to 10+ years ago, a burning passion to understand spiritual warfare was birthed as God connected childhood demon-filled nightmares to an encounter with evil at a Women’s Retreat. I began researching and gathering info on spiritual warfare, not yet knowing why.

One-and-half years has passed since God impressed upon my heart to attend that yearlong Healing Prayer class. For many years I’d studied under a cessationist and was taught that some gifts ceased after Jesus’ days and that words spoken to the 12 and 72 were not meant for me. Because of this, I went to this Healing Prayer class with trepidation and suspicion. However, I intentionally tried to remain open to what God desired to show me. Being like a Berean, I searched Scriptures to make sure what I was being taught aligned with His Word. He awakened me to what He had called me to as His current day disciple, yet sadly I had missed —

In John 14:12-14 Jesus says, “Truly, truly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works that I do, he will do also; and greater works than these he will do; because I go to the Father. Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it.”

I asked God, “What are these ‘works’ Jesus speaks of? And God told me to read through John recording what Jesus was doing. God removed all that faulty teaching and transformed my understanding. He showed me personally the authority He had given me and what He was calling me to.

He continues to reveal why He spoke to me in Jeremiah; why He allowed me to experience darkness through depressions and anxiety; why he allowed me to see visions and dreams of the spiritual world; and, why he led me to a class on Healing Prayer.

In Luke 4:18 Jesus reads Isaiah 61:1-2, “The Spirit of the Lord God is upon Me, because the Lord has anointed Me to bring good news to the afflicted; He has sent Me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to captives and freedom to prisoners; to proclaim the favorable year of the Lord.”

Because I no longer live but Christ lives in me, I am called to do the same. I am to exercise the authority I have been given through Jesus. I am to embrace this incomparable great power He has placed within me. I am His ambassador sent to represent Him and His Kingdom. Because He lives in me, I will cast out the enemy; I will lay hands on those He places in my path and they will receive healing from physical ailments and sickness in the Name of Jesus. The kingdom of God will come near to them, (Jesus living in me) and the Father will be glorified in the Son. (Luke 10:1-24, Matthew 10:1, Mark 16:15-18) And, I am to speak His Word to help others see how to walk in the authority He has given us as His children.

These last 9 months have been a wild, challenging, joyful, faith-building adventure. I’ve experienced God in ways never before. He showed me He would draw people to me and He has. He’s allowed me to feel His intense power as I prayed for a young man’s deliverance in my small group. He’s allowed me to smell the presence of the Holy Spirit as fragrant roses to remind me His Spirit was present as I prepared to pray for a man’s healing. He’s given me divine encounters with strangers who delivered timely messages sharing God heals immediately, as well as over time — do not be dismayed. He’s allowed me to feel a person’s pain leave her arm through mine. He’s given me timely words to share with client’s during healing prayer prophesying life and hope to their situation. He’s compelled me to do things that this introvert, don’t like to pray out loud girl has done because He bubbled up so fiercely inside me I had to respond. But isn’t that just like God, using the weak to do His work. For when it happens all the glory goes to Him. He doesn’t need me to do any of this work, but He loves to allow me to participate with Him.

Looking back through all He has done in these previous years overwhelms my soul and encourages me to follow Him deeper. Just as the early disciples came back excited exclaiming all they had done in the name of Jesus. Proclaiming that even demons had to answer to them. But Jesus reminded them that the only thing they need to rejoice over was that their name was written in the Book of Life.

Therefore, I’m left rejoicing for I am His.

Hearing God’s Voice

Posted on by DSilvan

As I continue to walk on this path of healing prayer, hearing His voice and being immediately obedient has become my heart’s #1 desire. Recently, a mentor mentioned she’s starting a study on “How to Hear God’s Voice” by Mark Virkler . . . my heart flip-flopped in my chest. I purchased this study last year but never started. I pulled out the companion book “4 Keys to Hearing God’s Voice”  and began reading. A few days later, another friend sent me the link for Graham Cooke’s “Stillness and the Voice of God.” I love when God envelopes me with repeated echoes grabbing my attention and announcing that He’s speaking.

Trying to discern His voice daily can be challenging. Sometimes I feel like Samuel when he had trouble discerning God’s voice as God called to him in the stillness of the night. Yet in reflecting, God reminded me that I have heard Him in a myriad of ways: while I’m in nature at the mountains or at the beach, as I read my Bible, through conversation with other people I encounter, as I watch movies, through pictures He places in my mind and as He travels me through Scriptures when I question Him. Typically, when He speaks to me what takes Him a second to download requires pages for me to explain.

One of the first impactful times I heard God crystal clear was during my 2nd depression.

I walked into the Pet Store by Office Depot feeling fine but pressures and upon exiting my world was instantly turned upside down and fractured . . . everything felt tilted and sideways, anxiety engulfed and balance all askew. The stress of trying to figure out how to provide a sustainable habitat for my children’s frog they just found, pushed me over the edge. This seems like such a small thing, but it was the straw that crushed the camel. My world had become trying to be perfect mom, perfect wife, perfect daughter, perfect  whatever anybody needed never saying no and never having boundaries. I had turned to being dependent on myself and left God somewhere behind all my cares and concerns. And there you go, I found myself broken yet again.

Trapped in darkness for months, doctors gave me medicine that only provided sedation and side effects. Counseling only plastered unwanted labels on me like atypical psychosis, dissociative disorder and anxiety. True healing evaded me. Fear overwhelmed me and heavy terror engulfed me. I’d crochet adult afghans in a day trying to distract myself. I’d read 800+ page books in a day trying to silence the tormenting feelings that incessantly pursued me. My world seemed like a surreal dream. Was I real? Was my family real? I lived terrified I would wake up and forget everyone I loved. So strategically I’d place their pictures everywhere practicing their names as I passed by. I even had visions of how I should end my life. Everyone would be better off without this crazy person adding chaos and being a burden.

I was so tired of living this way. The tears wouldn’t stop, as I lay curled in the fetal position on my bed crying out to God. Why was I broken beyond repair? Why me? In the little strength I had, seasoned with a tinge of anger from feeling forgotten, I cried, “Why won’t You help me?!”

God ever so gently replied, “Why don’t you read something that will truly help you?”

I KNEW it was GOD! There was no mistaking His voice…this gentle quiet whisper within my head carried profound sovereign authority. I knew instantly He was instructing me to pull out my Bible and begin reading. “Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He sent out his word and healed them, and delivered them from their destruction.” Psalm 107:19-20

What medicine and therapy could not do, God did in a matter of a few weeks as I began my journey back to being in His word…the depression disappeared.

God’s healing can be instantaneously miraculous. Or, it can appear over time. God gave me this imagery through a stranger a couple weeks ago. Imagine a pitch-black dark morning with heavy suffocating fog drifting through the land. As time progresses, the dark is eroded away by the brilliant sunlight and the fog is burnt off by the light’s warmth. Healing occurs as you patiently wait. “My son (daughter), pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to My words. Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart; for they are life to those who find them and health to one’s whole body.” Proverbs 4:20-22

I learned a very valuable lesson this second depression. NEVER LEAVE GOD’S WORD! Each time depression entered my world, I noticed I had become dependent on myself, neglected being in God’s word, thereby allowing depression to wrap it’s arms around me and engulf my soul. As I stay in His Word and remain dependent on Him, I remain healthy and depression free. Praise God and His mighty ways!

Santa Claus Metaphor

Posted on by DSilvan

Wrestling with letting go of old patterns of thinking and embracing and believing God’s Word still continues within me over this new adventure in healing. As I sit watching Christmas movies and wrapping presents, I’m pondering the many thoughts I have about this new me.

The thoughts swirl and bounce all over the map. The authority I have as Jesus’ disciple perplexes me and leaves me with many questions. Who am I to think Jesus has given me authority? Why did you wait so long to teach me about this?

This healing prayer ministry God led me to challenges me and stretches me on so many levels: Can I heal? Is God calling me to do this? Is this for every disciple? Because I’m in the class, does that mean I am one that God has called to do this?

I can’t stop thinking about all the people God keeps placing in my path that need help and prayer. It’s astounding how it seems like everyone is coming out of the woodwork and needs a touch of God. Have they always been around me? Am I just noticing now because I’m so focused on healing and prayer?

How am I supposed to survive in our couple’s small group I’ve been with for the last 12 years? They keep commenting on and looking at me as if I’m off my rocker. They occasionally question me if I’m being led astray stating that even the elect will be deceived? Are you going to the dark side? Perhaps I should take a break from them until I’m more secure in what you are calling me to do.

God has been on a mission to teach me how He speaks to me. He’s shown me various different ways He has met me and spoke to me during my lifetime. One way He communicates is by speaking simultaneously as I’m watching a movie. As I watch the image unfold on screen I can hear what God wants to say to me in a metaphorical manner . . . just like Jesus did in His parables. God explains His thoughts to me through the pictures I see displayed before my eyes.

As I was watching the Christmas movie Santa Claus 1 with Tim Allen, God spoke to me about my healing prayer journey . . .

ME: Random thoughts flit through my mind . . . “God what do you have planned? I just don’t see how You are going to use me. What is it going to look like?”

The scene in Santa Claus 1 when Scott Calvin was sitting on the bench watching his son’s soccer game and all of a sudden all the little children were lined up to talk to him . . . THEN all of a sudden —

GOD speaks: “That’s what you will look like . . . Scott Calvin with all those little children flocking to him. These will be my little children. They will come from everywhere wanting to talk to you. Seeking you for what you have.”

ME: “That doesn’t make sense. Santa Claus is a metaphor for You, Jesus. You are the One who has the gifts to give them. You are the One who is powerful. You are the One who can make miracles happen. You are the One who holds the answers. You are the One who they need. What will they get from me? I can’t be Santa Claus for them. How will I be able to do any of what You say?”

GOD speaks: “It won’t be you…it will be Me in you that does it all. They will flock to you because of what I will do through you. Don’t get confused, it’s always Me in you. Just like people flocked to Peter and Paul to be healed. My people will do the same with you.”

GOD speaks: “Do you see? You are just like Scott Calvin. He is wrestling with believing he is going to be Santa Claus. He is doubting that this is all real and that he will be able to do what is asked of him. You are no different, child. You are wrestling that I will do this through you. You are doubting that this is all real and that you will be able to do what is asked of you. His little boy believes his dad is Santa Claus, but Scott Calvin is really struggling with this new concept…Just as you are struggling with this new concept you are learning, but it’s not new it’s always been yours. Even though so many changes are occurring within Scott Calvin to point to this reality, he wrestles with grasping the idea . . . you look similar to him. Even though his body appearance is changing and he’s starting to look different than how he was . . . you are doing the same. He doesn’t like looking different to those who know him and he can’t explain why it’s happening. You feel the same way with all your friends who wrestle with believing how I am creating you into something different. You don’t like the changes and everyone’s eyes on you. Everyone on the outside is doubting this new you, just like Scott Calvin’s family is doubting all that is being said about him. Scott is beginning to see things differently and having different feelings that align with this new beginning and being surprised by it. You are experiencing that amazement, too. He can spot things about others and know things he shouldn’t know like whether they were naughty or good. You know when warfare is present. I allow you to sense it, to feel it, to KNOW it’s there. Trust that. Don’t listen to man when they doubt you and mock you. Trust the One Who is revealing that to you. As you move more freely in this, more will happen through you. Because of these things I do through you, people will flock to you. They will want to talk to you. They will seek you out. You will help them, you will listen to them, and they will receive the gifts they desire because I have all this for them. You are merely the vehicle I am choosing to use to deliver  what I have for them.

ME: “God are you really talking to me through a Santa Claus movie. I don’t think I can share this with anyone. They will think I’m crazy.”

GOD: Silence.

ME: Looking left. Looking right. Did that just happen? YES.

Sweet Smell of Roses

Posted on by DSilvan

I’ve been going through a year-long Healing Prayer class. Something that I was taught in my younger years was foolishness. You don’t go to a class to learn how to heal…God either gives you the gift of healing or He doesn’t. Period.

Well, just like God, He loves to show Himself bigger, grander, more abundant and infinitely larger than the tiny box our finite minds try to place Him in. So the adventure begins. God nudged me, intrigued me and prompted me to attend a Healing Prayer class with a couple of my friends. I thought “I’ll go God, but I’m just going to listen…I’m going to test what they say and see if it aligns with Scripture…I want to see if these ‘people’ are as crazy and unbiblical as I’ve been warned of in my younger years. I will try to keep an open mind and welcome what You have to teach me.”

All along I had the thought “If Jesus shows me how to remove the log from my eye, then I will be able to help others remove the speck from their eye…or…if I learn how to be healed, then I can help others learn how to be healed.”

When God is growing you and stretching you there are many challenges to unwrap and deal with . . . there are growing pains . . . and . . . sometimes even gangly awkward moments as you learn to walk and operate in your newly formed body.

God showed up unbelievably throughout this year. He traveled me through His Scriptures and revealed Himself in ways that are so precious to my faith walk. He’s been ever so gentle as He waited for the transforming of my mind to enable me to see actually what His Scripture says versus what authority figures in my younger years had told me was the truth.

Though there have been a handful of powerful prayer encounters in regards to healing and spiritual warfare that have happened during taking this class, the one I will share now just occurred on Thursday, December 14.

On Monday night, December 12, at my healing prayer class I shared, or basically confessed, in an abbreviated version that I had been disobedient because I had felt God nudge me to pray for a stranger, but I kept going. As I drove to drop my daughter’s lunch to her, my eyes caught an elderly man on the sidewalk hunched over walking with a cane and clearly crippled. I had been reading through all the healings and deliverances Jesus performed as well as those that the disciples had done. Immediately upon seeing him I had the thought “Go pray for him. Lay hands on him.” God flooded my mind with a couple stories I had just read: the paralyzed man by the pool of Bethsaida (John 5), as well as the crippled woman in the synagogue (Luke 13). But in my flesh these are things I NEVER would do, so I resorted to what was comfortable and kept driving. I consoled myself . . . I said “I’m dropping this off to my daughter. I have a mission to accomplish. I don’t know this man. What’s he going to think of some stranger stopping on the street offering to pray for him?”

As these many excuses whirled around in my head and seemed reasonable, I felt the Spirit in me grieved. I was convicted and said, “God, when I return if the man is present, I will pray for him. I don’t know what, but I will pray.” He was nowhere to be found. But in wrestling over my response, I wanted to confess my offense so I could be healed from the entrapment of fear that kept me from being obedient to God’s movement in my life. I promised myself the next time I felt Him prompting me to pray for someone I would take a step of faith and do it. Trusting God to be faithful and do as He has promised.

The next day on Tuesday I checked in on a girlfriend to see how everything was going. Her husband is very ill. After hearing her words, God reminded me that He had prompted me many times over the last 2 months to GO PRAY for her husband and LAY HANDS on him. I texted her and shared how I felt led to pray and lay hands on her husband for healing and asked if she thought he’d be open to it. After I sent the text I thought, “What on earth are you doing?! You are really in this now! You don’t even know what you’re doing!”

She replied, “Yes. Come over after our study on Thursday. I’m not telling him you’re coming. You just be led by the Spirit.”

Uhmmm…I don’t know if this is such a great idea. What am I going to walk into? Typically everyone Jesus heals is waiting for Him to heal them…yearning to just touch a piece of His robe and be healed. A surprise attack is not typically the way it happens!

I wrestled in turmoil. “I” don’t know what “I” am doing. “I” don’t know what to say. “I” have really gotten myself into a pickle here! “I, I, I.”

Thank God He orchestrated this to all unwrap right as I was leading a lesson on the Shield of Faith. God has perfect timing. One key thought that stuck out as I studied all day to prepare was we just need the faith of a mustard seed. Tiny. Miniscule. Faith. Our focus need ONLY be on the “Object” behind our faith. God. HIS faithfulness. HIS sovereignty. HIS healing power. HIS Spirit giving me the words to speak. HIS ability to move mountains. HIS ability to perform miracles. He was just pounding this all into me so I would lessen my focus on “me” and put my magnifying glass on Him and His ways.

I waivered back and forth throughout the moments in my day. Wednesday came and I had decided I would fast to prepare. I would pray to God seeking Him. And, I would read Scripture that God brought to mind through prayer. As nighttime came, I realized the daily activities had engulfed much of what I wanted to spend in devotion to God. I was nervous. I was anxious. I was fearful. I wasn’t as prepared as I wanted to be or envisioned I should be. That’s when this smell gently wafted through our home.

My youngest daughter and I were baking goodies to send with our oldest daughter to Mexico the next morning. I kept asking her and my husband “Do you smell that?”

They smelled nothing.

Typically smells affect me, give me headaches, make me sick so I was searching to find it so I could stop it. Someone needed to wash the lotion or perfume off. But I couldn’t find it anywhere. I couldn’t describe it, yet. But it would be there strong…then disappear. I’d walk right through it, turn around instantly and then couldn’t find it. Everyone looked at me like I was weird.

As I tried to figure out what was happening, I said to my daughter perhaps I’m “smelling” a spirit (an evil spirit is what I thought). To which her reply was “Mom, I don’t think an evil spirit would smell like what you’re describing. Maybe it’s your guardian angel.” Wow. I thought, you might be right. I’ve been praying to have a better understanding of His angels and special encounters with them. 

Immediately a memory flooded my mind of when I’ve heard my girlfriend Mara say “Do you smell those roses? The Holy Spirit is here.” I knew as that memory was unwrapped in my mind, that I smelled roses! That was it…ROSES! I knew it wasn’t a guardian angel…the Holy Spirit was letting me know He was present.

Not in words. Not in pictures.  But rather more in a way of simple understanding downloaded into my being. I knew that the smell was to let me know the Holy Spirit was present. He was with me. I don’t need to fear my preparation. I don’t need to worry about if I’ll have the right words. I don’t need to be anxious if this man would be welcoming. I need only be obedient to what God was asking of me. The Holy Spirit will be with me.

The smell of roses continued to appear off and on throughout my home. I kept checking, “Do you smell that?”

Seriously, I think they thought I was going crazy!

After study the next morning, I went to my friend’s home. She sweetly introduced me and said why I was there. He was gracious…much better at having an unannounced guest in his home than I would be. And God was good!

As I went to grab my anointing oil, it was nowhere to be found! How do you loose your little purse that holds your oil for a healing prayer appointment that you brought specifically? His wife had a tiny bottle she got from Jerusalem that had never been opened and I was able to use that…he was the very first anointing from this bottle! I asked if he was aware of the Scripture that said if anyone is sick they should seek the elders of the church to be anointed for healing.

He was cute, but somewhat annoyed, “Well, I’ve read the Bible.”

I giggled and moved on. I asked if he was okay with me anointing him and if I could lay hands on him. He said yes to both. His wife told me later that she was astonished he said yes to these.

Talking with strangers is not easy for an introvert, shy person. Isn’t it interesting how Jesus chooses to use a person in ways they feel completely inept? So I will be forced to rely on Him completely and not try to be self-sufficient. Because I did all this with ease, peace and comfort, I know the Holy Spirit was enabling and empowering me. I sat down and gently spoke with him. Gently asking him what was happening in his life. I focused on listening intently. We moved into asking questions about his health that would pop into my mind. I asked him for symptoms that he was experiencing and pain that he dealt with. He never speaks to anyone about what is going on, yet he poured everything out to me. His wife told me afterwards she was amazed. I asked background questions that appeared in my thoughts. I asked what he would like Jesus to do for him to which he replied, “Give comfort to my wife. If I die tomorrow I will die with a smile on my face because there are many far worse off than me.” His requests of Jesus were only for others. I loved his heart. I shared that his heart was beautiful, that he was living out the greatest commandment by loving God and loving others.

I felt guided through praying for each of his ailments and there were many: cardiovascular (hereditary), multiple aneurysms, bladder hernia (hereditary), kidney disease, COPD. I asked for complete healing for all areas. God brought to mind Scripture throughout. I watched this man’s face as I prayed and there was complete stillness and peace. A deep peace that made me wonder, “Did he fall asleep?” I kept praying. Speaking God’s word over him, washing him with every verse that was brought to mind. Reminding him of how much God loves him. And that though God loves that he desires others to receive, that his God desires to give to him as well.

In hindsight, I see many things “I” wish “I’d” remembered to do, like ask his pain level at the beginning and check in on him at the end to see how he was. Encouraging him to share if Jesus was speaking to him at all during the prayer time. However, because I felt the Spirit completely led me the entire time, I was relieved of the pressure to be perfect. If those needed to be addressed the Spirit would have prompted me, given me the thought and reminded me to do them.

I don’t know if any healing took place because all his ailments are on the inside and unnoticeable to the visible eye. However in speaking to him afterwards, multiple times he removed his glasses to wipe tears from his eyes.

Afterwards, this gentleman spoke words over me that left me feeling as if God was speaking through him to me. He said “You are blessed. Denise, you could have been one of the original disciples in the Bible.” There was so much more that he said, but my heart stopped at the first two and couldn’t retain much more. I was rather dumbfounded. I thought, “Wait! I’m here to bless you. Not the other way around.” But isn’t that just like God. As we bless others He is faithful to pour out blessings on His obedient servant…He’ll deliver confirmation to encourage our obedience…I listened…I stepped out in faith…I trusted God. He worked through me to touch Michael and then He worked through Michael to touch me.

I was…Humbled. Joyful. Happy. Filled to overflowing. As he spoke words of encouragement and love to me, I received confirmation that God had done something in Michael. My hope is that God will give him healing, lessen his pain, give him comfort and reveal Himself to Michael in a deeper spiritual way. He was grateful. He felt loved. God showed up. God moved. God was faithful as always.

The smell of Roses! What a beautiful smell!

 

SCRIPTURE REFERENCES

Matthew 10:1
Jesus called his twelve disciples together and gave them authority to cast out evil spirits and to heal every kind of disease and illness.

Luke 10:19
I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.

John 14:12
Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.

John 15:5-8
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

God Give Me More

Posted on by DSilvan

God has been stretching me . . .

He’s moved me from a conservative cessationist Baptist heritage which emphasizes His Word and taught me that certain gifts had ceased to exist for us as believers today . . . tooooo . . .  the opposite spectrum, the Charismatic continuationist side which emphasizes His Spirit and recognizes ALL the gifts of the Spirit and teaches that we are to look just like the church in the days of Acts.

I’m so very grateful for my Baptist foundation where God immersed me in His Word and taught me to search His Scripture like the Bereans to see if what I’m hearing is Scripturally sound.

Although growing up, ironically, I always was prompted to ask the questions from Scriputre that made the cessationists squirm . . . challenging all they believed to be true. In my spiritual immaturity, I followed what man said to me when they discounted my questions. I thought what the elders told me was absolute truth and I just didn’t understand Scripture. I was confused.

Now, God was challenging me to revisit many of these questions I had in my early 20’s. He was radically pushing me from my comfort zone to see Him from a different perspective. This uncharted territory was a land that had been characterized to me as “scary, foreign, and taboo.” Doing this was difficult. Change is not easy, especially when everyone around you exists where God is drawing you from.

When I was young I asked why are there so many different denominations? Why was the Baptist “the right” one? Aren’t we all ONE when we believe in Jesus? Why did these charismatic people fall over when slayed by the Spirit? What does that mean anyway? And, why do we disagree with this so strongly? My elders’ responses never rested peacefully, but who else was I supposed to ask? Therefore my questions remained . . . placed high on a shelf to be addressed at a later date when I was “more mature” in my faith.

God revealed to me in a picture of a pendulum that though these denominations exist furthest from each other He is present in both. He’s not one or the other, but rather encompasses ALL denominations, in between as well. He doesn’t want me heavy on either side, but balanced and embracing ALL that He is. Fluidly and freely moving with His Word and His Spirit.

In 2015, I began asking God for MORE of Him. That was my heart’s cry! In 2016 God prompted me to take a year-long study on Healing Prayer. To this day I laugh how I showed up there. I knew I was supposed to be there because the push from my heart could not be denied.  But the rigidness of the way I was raised was combatant all the way. I went each Monday night with my arms tightly crossed set to disprove what they were going to teach. I think my goal was to show how wrong they were. My thought was God heals or God doesn’t. You can’t be “taught how to heal” through prayer. This was just foolishness.

Within this class, I was confronted with many teachings and perspectives. Some revolved around the questions I had early on in my Christian walk. One topic God awakened me to was a disciple’s authority. This journey has made me stop abruptly and make a 180-turn. I had been originally taught that what was spoken to the 12 disciples in Acts was for them . . . not you and me today. But God was challenging that belief system. He has been transforming the pattern of my thinking to see how Jesus has given us the same power and authority to drive out all demons, to cure diseases, to proclaim the kingdom of God and to heal the sick (Luke 9:1-2, Luke 10:19, Matthew 10:1, 7-8, Mark 3:14-15, Mark 13:34).

However as I make this transition, I must remember to be gentle because there are 2 camps here — those who believe disciples have been given authority and those who say that this was only for Jesus’ day. I encourage you all to not be like me and easily grab what I say as truth, but instead test what I’m saying to see if it aligns with Scripture. Be a Berean and search Scripture after what I share. Seek God and ask Him to reveal Himself. Ask for MORE of Him. Beg Him to guide you through Scriptures and give you clarity. Because He will. Trust the Spirit He has given you within. You were not given a “junior” Spirit. You have been given the fully empowered Holy Spirit. He is your teacher and guide. Trust Him first and foremost, not man.

What I’m about to share with you started because I was crying out to God because of the turmoil I found myself in. As God pulled me out of cessationism and was freeing me to experience His Spirit fully alive and functioning with all gifts, I was confronted with uncomfortable situations. Many of my conservative friends had not been awakened to this same realization. I was trying to enter new ground God was taking me to but I kept having people around me holding me back, causing me to doubt, instilling fear, tearing me down as I felt I was being lifted out. I felt almost persecuted by my Christian friends. This was rather bizarre.

I felt torn between these two camps. I wanted more of God. I wanted to understand Him more intimately. But I wasn’t sure I could survive in the old place while He was teaching me all the new He had for me. Just as He’d give me a treasure, I seemed to have it snatched out of my hand by someone who didn’t believe what I was walking into.

I was confused what God wanted of me. I cried out to Him to reveal to me the truth. What camp was truth. What He wanted me to believe. Where He wanted me to stand. I needed His word to stand on and I needed to know how to defend or explain what He was showing to me. I wanted to stand firm in what He was showing me and to no longer be swayed back and forth by doubts.

He was faithful to teach and guide me through Scriptures as He unwrapped this new territory that has always been mine. He traveled me through Scripture in a rapid conversation on Saturday, November 5th as I sat with Him nestled under trees at a softball field. That’s what I love about God. I was in the midst of two softball teams, stands full of fans and these people had no idea the spiritual encounter I was having with my Heavenly Father. As I sat their with my headphones on, Bible in my lap, I scribbled as fast as I could in a small tiny journal all the Scriptures God was directing me to as I asked Him my questions.

After this intimate time with Him I was on fire!

This had never happened with me before . . .me asking a question and Him giving me a Scripture to look up. I was in awe.

One week after this adrenaline rushing encounter with God, He revealed to me what had taken place as a speaker taught me about 2-way journaling with God. God encouraged me to go back to our discussion and record our dialogue. He wanted me to put pen to paper and record the discoveries He journeyed me through in a 2-way journal.

Immediately I deciphered my shorthand and recorded it to share. Here’s an excerpt of our dialogue . . .

ME: “God I’m wrestling with knowing what Your truth is. I’ve been taught different things and as I share with others, their rebuttals confuse me. I find myself doubting what You’re showing me and I feel like a wave being tossed from one side to the other by the wind (James 1:6) I don’t want to know what people say about You and Your ways todays. I want to know what You say. I want to know what to believe.”

GOD: He led me to 1 John 2:27, “As for you, the anointing you received from Me remains in you, and you do not need anyone to teach you. Stop going to them. But as the Holy Spirit teaches you about all things and as that anointing is real, not counterfeit — just as it has taught you, remain in Him.”

ME: “What about all those who say I’m crazy? Those who say miracles don’t happen today? Or, this isn’t for disciples today! God warns us about false prophets performing miracles and signs to lead people astray even the elect. All of them imply that these things are happening not because of You but because of the enemy, the false prophets, the antichrist.”

GOD: He led me to John 15:20, “Remember what I told you. A servant is not greater than his master. If they persecuted Me, they will persecute you also. If they obeyed my teaching, they will obey yours also.” He led me to Matthew 10:24-34, “The student is not above the teacher nor a servant above his master. It is enough for students to be like their teachers and servants like their masters. If the head of the house has been called Beelzebul, how much more the members of his household! They will say evil is using you. They will question Jesus’ power in you or the power you are using to do these things. Listen to what the Spirit tells you in the dark. Listen to what’s whispered in your ear and proclaim from the roofs. Do not be afraid of these people. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both your soul and body.” Then He led me back to John 15:7-8, “If you remain in Me, and My Words remain in you, ask whatever you wish and it will be done for you. This is my Father’s glory that you bear much fruit, showing yourself to be my disciple.”

GOD:  “Are you going to believe what I’m saying to you? Are you going to believe My Word is true? OR Are you going to believe those who doubt what I said?”

ME: “I’m going to believe You!”

ME: “So I’m going to be labeled as crazy, accused of allowing Satan to use me, questioned by what power these things are done…take comfort in knowing it happened to You as well. But God, when they say these things what can I show them in Scripture?”

GOD: He led me to John 14:12-14, “Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes in Me, the works I do he will do also; and greater works than these he will do, because I go to My Father… If you ask anything in My Name, I will do it.”

ME: “Greater works than these? What works?”

GOD: “Denise go back and search my Scriptures in John. He gives you an accounting of all these things seen from John’s eyes. Record them.”

ME: I began reading the book of John and writing down what Jesus did.

GOD: He led me to John 21:25, “But remember Denise. John’s recordings are not exhaustive. Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written.

This encounter left me invigorated, exhilarated, energized, encouraged, filled up and excited.

I was left wanting even MORE!

These are the miraculous things John recorded Jesus doing . . .

Jesus saw Nathaniel under the fig tree [Jesus had Word of Knowledge] (John 1)
Jesus turns water into wine (John 2) — Sign #1
Jesus reveals to Samaritan women of 5 husbands [Jesus had Word of Knowledge] (John 4)
Jesus heals the Official’s son without going anywhere (John 4) — Sign #2
Jesus heals the man an invalid of 38 years walks at pool of Bethsaida
Jesus feeds 5000 (John 6)
Jesus walks on water (John 6)
Jesus heals man born blind with mud on eyes (John 9)
Jesus raises Lazarus (John 11)